Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album Volume 2: An (Almost) Track-By-Track Review

24 Nov

A Very Glee Christmas: So. Much. Happiness.

Howdy! There was no new Glee episode today. But don’t worry because it’s back next week and named after a Katy Perry song. I kissed a girl. That’s the song’s title, the occurrence is rare for me (LOL, JK, Not Through Lack Of Trying). Fear not, because I have a track-by-track review of Glee’s latest Christmas album for you today. Well, almost. I’ve skipped the boring ones. So really this is like any other review where one picks out the particularly good or the particularly bad. I’ve just spared having to think of an actual structure because I’m lazy. Or tired. Or a mix of the two, with a heavy workload sprinkled on top. Anyway, Christmas!

All I Want For Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey) – Amber Riley

This doesn’t add much to the original but I don’t think that really matters. Amber Riley’s voice does things to me. Things I can’t quite describe but I think Rihanna might have mentioned them on her new album. Which is about sex y’all. This, though is about Christmas and wanting you. Yup, you. Underneath her Christmas tree. It’s such a sweet song, and Amber’s voice is so heavenly that I can’t help but love this. Even if you don’t like Glee (in which case, there are about 1789002 other websites on the internet- go check them out) you can appreciate this. Group harmonising, you guys?

Christmas Cheer: 4/5

Extraordinary Merry Christmas (Glee Original- I know, I know) – Darren Criss and Lea Michele 

This caused quite a stir on Tumblr. And not the good kind. Lea tweeted about how excited she was to record an original song for Christmas with Mr Criss (so, is this a Crissmas? Ho. Ho. Ho.) which understandably raised expectations. The results however were this. As my friend said, it’s like they chucked every single word to do with Christmas into one song and stuck some bells on. Which is true, Lea interminably sings ‘merry, merry, merry, very, extraordinary, christmas tree, turkey,’ at one point. Or something. To which I say, isn’t that every Christmas song? This one has really grown on me and so I stand firmly on the positive side of this original song. That does not mean I’m okay with Loser Like Me.

Christmas Cheer: 4/5

Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt) – Naya Rivera

I remember ages ago there was a Christmas advert for a department store (before they became nationwide events) that used Santa Baby as its soundtrack. And I remember thinking how goddamn sexy it seemed for Christmas. Naya’s version is similarly husky and suggestive. But I’m not complaining. This is easily one of my favourite tracks from the album. This girl can do no wrong. 

Christmas Cheer: 4.5/5

Christmas Eve With You (Glee Original- once bitten, twice as shy) – Jayma Mays and Matthew Morrison

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. * I’m a little confused. This is a Glee original song but half of it is Matthew Morrison singing ‘Let it snow.’ And I’m pretty sure that’s already been covered in another meteorologically-centered festive song. Still, I like hearing Jayma Mays sing and this romantic number may mean that they finally have sex. Or maybe Glee is saving that particular chestnut for Season 17. 

Christmas Cheer: 2/5

Let It Snow (Vaughn Monroe) – Darren Criss and Chris Colfer

Collective aw, you guys? No really, this is quite lovely. Last year, they sang Baby, It’s Cold Outside, because nothing says Christmas like casual date-rape. I was talking to unnamed sources (my art set) who said that they found Chris Colfer’s singing voice irritating. An opinion with which I kinda completely disagree (quick- someone call a doctor, got a case of the love bi-polar.) I don’t really have a follow-up point to that, just throwing it out there. Incisive music journalism, that’s why you come here right?

Christmas Cheer: 4/5

Christmas Wrapping (The Waitresses) – Heather Morris

Ah HeMo, I love you and I appreciate this. That’s not quite the same as approving of it. Look, I don’t want to judge before I see your accompanying dance. Your dance could make my current English essay seem acceptable. 

Christmas Cheer: 3/5

Blue Christmas (Elvis Presley) – Damian McGinty

Hey, Irish Kid: I really like this! Don’t let anyone tell you that your seven episode arc achieved nothing- you did a completely acceptable cover of an Elvis Presley song. Though, admittedly at a few karaoke parties I have too. 

Christmas Cheer: 4/5

* That is quite possibly the laziest introduction to a review I, or anyone else in the history of the internet, have ever written. Sorry. 

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