Eff, Marry or Kill: Summer Music Edition

30 May

Eff, Marry, Kill: the rules are pretty simple. Out of three options which would you eff, marry or kill. Pretty playground huh?  Perhaps but indulge me, I’m a school kid and this has a point. In honour of Nymag’s rather excellent Eff, Marry or Kill: Summer Movie Edition, I thought I’d do one especially for the tracks we’re likely to be hearing this summer. In what other format could you legally kill Bruno Mars?

The Big Pop Song:

Summer music is all about indulgence and this July and August will be no different. I’d choose to kill the overblown, overhyped and overly experimental Beyonce track, (Girls) That Run The World. Even an expensive music video and 3-D performance can’t quite save this mess, I long for the glory days of B’Day. I’d pass up the opportunity to eff, and do a Bran and marry Katy Perry’s Last Friday Night (already mentioned here, before) , a sugar-rush of a summer song. While it may not match up to Rihanna’s Umbrella, it’s (sugar)laced up and ready to go, with a video that’s going to ‘break the internet.’ Which teenager of the Facebook generation can’t relate to  lyrics like: 

Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well

Finally, I’d choose to eff Nicki Minaj and Ke$ha’s remix of Britney’s Till The World Ends. Britney’s post-headshave music has been pretty deflated but Nicki Minaj manages to amp up the pop factor whilst the song’s writer, K-E-Dollar Sign-Ha herself adds a little oomph to the proceedings.

The Summer Love Song:

Jennifer Lopez continues a career resurgence with I’m Into You. It’s not bad at all but we had to make a choice here, okay? This is more reminiscent of a sweaty club romance in Malaga (see: You got me hooked with your love controller). On a slightly different tack, indie upstart Sky Ferreira provides the song I’d like to eff. It’s about love gone bad (rumours you’re cheating and I ain’t leaving banging and crying) but has a kicky chorus, reminiscent of The Noisettes’ Don’t Upset the Ryhthm and could well be the breakout star for song of the summer. On a similar theme, Adele’s latest single Set Fire To The Rain is the song I’d like to marry most, and it’s definitely the strongest on her album. Yes, it’s a bit of a downer for summer but does anyone really listen to lyrics when the windows are down and the temperature is above 15 degrees? The chorus is empowering and satisfying to sing alone to (in or out of tune).

The Laid Back Summer Song:

Ah, summer you sure do do weird things to people’s music tastes. After long nights, it seems most of us want to do nothing else but listen to guitar and people singing about how, like totally relaxed  they can be while playing guitars. But I’d still blanche at having to sing these lyrics anywhere: ‘(throwing) my hand in my pants,’ and how he’s going to ‘find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex.’ The song I’d like to eff would be Best Coast’s When You Wake Up which was released in January. It’s sufficiently hazy, recalling The Gin Blossoms’ Hey Jealousy. The track that I’d like to marry most would be from one of my favourite bands the Freelance Whales and their track Hannah (which could easily be among my favourite songs about girls’ names). It may err on the upbeat side, but it’s perfect to relax to and is from a really exciting band.

Those are my first three sections but tell us if you liked them because I have another 3 sections for a later article. I’m just deciding whom I’m going to propose to and how to finish off various other artists. Until next time!

4 Responses to “Eff, Marry or Kill: Summer Music Edition”

  1. livs May 31, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    Yes, bye bye Bruno Mars, but marrying Adele over Sky Ferreira – really? Also, can’t help noticing you’ve missed good old Cliff off your list, surely nothing says hello to summer quite like Cliff Richards ‘Summer Holiday’…

    • Henry Wong May 31, 2011 at 9:54 am #

      I think it was more of a metaphorical marriage, I doubt I’m hugely up to Sky’s standards… I did want to focus on current music, unless you’ve heard about Cliff trying to rejuvenate his career with a party tune this summer (we can live in hope, I suppose.)

  2. Samara June 6, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    I don’t understand the logic in marrying Katy Perry over Beyonce.. surely that’s a no brainer… She can’t even sing!!


  1. Best Thing I Never Had – Beyoncé « Can You Hear This - July 28, 2011

    […] (very regularly), I make mistakes. In my Eff, Marry or Kill: Summer Music Edition post, I claimed we should kill Beyoncé’s Girls (That Run The World), calling it […]

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